Like some of you might know, I am an actual person, and not an alien wearing the skin of a 21 years old girl with crazy red hair (or am I? You’ll never know HA HA HA). Also, like a lot of 21 years old girls, I am a college student, a business student!!! (everyone’s nightmare). A few days ago, I got my finals’ results (I PASSED MOTHERFUCKERS!). But what I will be writing about in this article, while listening to some Korean rap (that shit is dope! Check this out!!), is failure. We’ve all known it and we’ve all went through those five stages after it: 1. DENIAL: This stage mostly starts with a nervous laughter, Joker style, followed by a version of this monologue: “Hahahahahha, me, failing? Nooo, there must be some mistake. I don’t fail. I studied really hard for this. No no, that’s impossible. Hey X, is there really a “fail” next to my name? Sure? Look again, maybe you’re seeing wrong. Hahahahah, no, I can’t fail. I can’t study all of this again. I’m going to check at the administration, it’s probably an error. Hahahahah, what a joke, me, failing? Hahahahah, hilarious!” We try to convince ourselves that it’s a mistake, but deep down, we know. We failed and we’ll have to study everything all over again and have exams in the middle of summer while our other successful friends are probably hanging out having drinks and laughing at our dumbness. 2. ANGER: Ah, my favourite part. We get angry at everyone, everything. At ourselves for not studying enough, at our friends for passing their exams, at our siblings for being TOO LOUD FOR FUCK’S SAKE! , and even at our parents for not giving us the smart genes. Our anger is irrational and frankly, pretty comical. It usually goes like this: “Are you kidding me? Why should I have to go through this hell again???? I was sure of passing. Let me tell you man, that professor hates me! I’m sure he has a picture of me where he poked holes in my eyes. I’m sure he has human heads in his fridge, if not, then WHY DID HE MAKE ME FAIL HIS EXAM WHEN I WAS SURE AS HELL I WAS PASSING?? HEIN? HEIN? YOU TELL ME. I wish someone eats him.” 3. BARGAINING: This really is the funniest step. We start trying to convince our professors of reviewing our paper and maybe letting us pass. Everything is allowed: Stalking them at school every day until they get sick of us, calling them on their personal phone (after harassing one of the students’ representatives to get it), spamming their inbox with mails where we’re pleading our case etc… We’ll do anything to avoid spending our summer studying instead of hanging out at the beach and complaining about our bodies (too fat, too skinny, too white, too tan, you choose.) 4. DEPRESSION: We start seeing only darkness in our future. Usually, this is the kind of thoughts that come to our minds in times like this: “I’m going to die poor, dumb and alone. Oh god, I will never get a job and I will spend my whole life homeless and I will be murdered and thrown under a bridge and no one will care. Maybe I should just drop out of school and go work as a clown circus and scare the shit out of kids. That’s it, I’m quitting. FUCK THE SYSTEM!! God, what am I doing with my life?” 5. ACCEPTANCE: The final stage of our emotional roller coaster is here. What is done is done, we accept our failure and study a little bit to pass our exams this time, or, if you’re like me, don’t study but still pass because you’re a genius, baby!
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Houda LaabadiPoet, writer and traveler. Categories
All
|